


Not the mother

by NCSP



Series: Something to tell you [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, just a hint of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:58:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14680311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCSP/pseuds/NCSP
Summary: Loki still has some doubts





	1. Chapter 1

Loki had found it difficult to adjust to his new reality.

He wasn’t used to being so loved and pampered, and everything seemed too much to him. 

Not that he didn’t like it.

He enjoyed Tony’s attention like a gift, but he couldn’t convince himself it would’ve lasted.

Tony’s attitude had changed from the very next day from Loki’s panicked announcement.

Not only he had brought Loki breakfast in bed, but he had remained with him the whole day, calling off all the meetings that had been scheduled months before; ha had understood that in that moment Loki needed him by his side, even though he would’ve never told him.

 

 

“What do you want to do today?” Tony asked after Loki had finished his breakfast, his usual coffee substituted by a cup of sweet hot chocolate.

“Don’t you have to work?”

“Not today.”

Loki was a little surprised at that; he knew Tony was a busy man, and he kind of understood the logic behind his meetings that dragged on for the whole day and always left him tired and irritated when he got back home. They were similar to the Council Meetings to which he had seldom been allowed to participate with everyone frowning at him, and that was why he was so comprehensive with Tony when he returned home; certainly the participants of those meeting treated Tony differently from what Loki was used to since he was their boss, but his memories led him to be instinctively supportive. 

Anyhow, Loki knew those meeting were important to Tony, or at least that he considered them his duty, so it was rather strange for Tony to stay there with him.

“I think I can take a day off.”

“Why today?”

“Did your IQ drop by a hundred points in a few hours? What kind of a question is that?”

“I was just asking,” Loki retorted slightly offended.

“Today because I’ve just found out we’re having a child and I want to be with you, you idiot.”

Loki was more than slightly taken aback by that statement.

Tony had done his best to reassure him and nothing but showing him how happy he was, and yet it was all so strange for Loki he couldn’t but doubt every word he was told.

“Okay, I don’t know what I have to do to make you believe that I’m actually happy we’re having a baby, but I will,” Tony kissed him slowly, and to that Loki relaxed a bit, “I’ll ask again: what do you want to do today?”

Loki would’ve gladly spent the whole day there, in bed with Tony cuddling him, but his favourite human would’ve got bored even though he probably wouldn’t have told him. 

“If you want to go in the lab since you have a day off…”

“Loki. I want to be with you. I’m not taking a break because I’m tired and I want some time for myself, but because I want to be with you. Especially since you still don’t believe I’m happy, actually beaming, of having a family with you. Period.”

Loki had no idea of what to say, all he knew was that he was about to start crying again.

“So now, dear mother of my child, what do you want to do?”

“I’m not the mother,” Loki exclaimed, his mood changing in the blink of an eye.

“Well, you carry the child so…”

“I’m not the mother!”

“Uh, easy there, calm down,” Tony put up his hands.

“I’m still not the…” he would’ve kept on protesting, but his stomach started playing dirty and sent him running to vomit in the bathroom.

“Yes, mom?” Tony asked, reaching him to push back his black hair.

Loki would’ve insulted him, but another wave of nausea prevented him.

“Here, come back to bed,” Tony held him close after he had brushed his teeth to get rid of the awful savour in his mouth, “We can think of something to do later, if you want,” he kissed him on the forehead and pulled up the warm comforter Loki seemed to prefer.

“Are you really going to do this,” he gestured at the bathroom, “For seven months?”

“You should get better in a shorter time, but I would if you don’t.”

Loki was about to start crying again.

That baby wasn’t even born yet and he already resembled his father: he was a bastard.

“You… you can really go now, I think I’ll sleep a little,” Loki sniffed, trying to hide his eyes.

“I’ve never seen you crying before, so I don’t think I’ll leave you alone in the near future.”

“Why are you doing this?” Loki pushed himself to say, a lonely tear running down his ivory cheek, “Why are you staying with me, accepting this? Why don’t you just leave me? I’d understand, I wouldn’t blame you. Just let go of me. Let me go,” he tried to sneak away from Tony’s arms, but he only held him with more strength, “Tony, please.”

“I don’t want to hear you talking about me leaving you anymore. Is that understood?’ he asked sternly.

“Tony…”

“No, enough. I love you, I’ll love our child. You’re my family now.”

What Loki didn’t understand was that Tony was all in for being different from his father. Through the years he had wondered what he would have done in the remote occasion of having a family of his own, and while the sceneries had kept on changing only one thing had always remained the same: he would have been different from Howard. He would have loved his child, showed unlimited love to his baby and to his wife – or crazy norse god, but that wasn’t the point.

“Now stop, okay?” He said more gently, drawing Loki closer, “If you want to sleep you’ll sleep with me, I’m not leaving you alone when you’re such a mess.”

“I’m not a mess,” Loki wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“Okay, you’re the pregnant lady, let’s say you are not,” Tony mocked him, stroking his cheek and kissing the tip of his nose. He had never been so sweet with anyone, but seeing Loki so weak and in need of help could only lead to develop that sort of sentiment.

“I’m not a lady,” he softly complained snuggling against Tony.

“The point’s still the same.”

Loki remained unusually quiet for some time before speaking again, “You could…”

“Don’t say it. Don’t even fucking say it.”

“… read something while you stay here with me,” he finished ignoring Tony’s interruption, “I know you have lot of documents for your meetings.”

“If you don’t need my complete attention I think I could, yes.”

“I don’t really need you to stay here, to be honest.”

“Being the Silver Tongue, you’re a terrible liar,” Tony fished the tablet from the drawer of the bedside table and started reading while Loki slapped his arm.

When Loki woke up a couple hours later Tony was still reading by his side.

“Hello, sunshine.”

“Mmh…” Loki groggily yawned, stretching against his lover’s side.

“It’s almost time for lunch if you feel like getting up. You can’t have all your meals in bed.”

Loki was still trying to understand what he was still doing in Tony’s bed. In the last months they had started spending more and more time together, but Loki never stayed long; he was used to have sex and leave, breaking out of that habit had already been hard enough when staying meant spending an half an hour in Tony’s arms before hurrying out of the Tower. He had never known before someone who wanted to talk after sex, who just wanted to spend some time with him with the only purpose of enjoying his presence, but with Tony it was all different.

During the months Loki had started visiting his human more often, and every time he popped out in Tony’s living room the billionaire managed to convince him to stay a little longer.

Once he had even succeeded to trick him into spending a whole weekend with him.

Now Loki was rather used to spend the night with him, but as far as the day was concerned, that was off-limits. In Loki’s mind that would’ve meant getting too close not to get hurt, and even though Tony had confessed his love for him he still didn’t want to push his luck this far.

“I can hear you thinking from here.”

Damn, when had Tony started reading him so well? That was something Loki liked in him, but it could be counterproductive some times.

“I wasn’t… nevermind,” he was too confused to try to put up a fight.

“I won’t ask, but you get up, come have lunch with me, and then try those clothes,” he pointed at a pile on an armchair.

“Clothes?’

“You don’t have anything here.”

“So?’

“Since you live here now you need something to wear, even though I prefer you naked,” Tony smacked him on the lips and left the room before Loki could even process his words.

What?

Had he just moved in, going from having difficulties to spend more than twelve hours with his lover to a full-time commitment, with a sentence?

“Tony!” He called when he was able to speak again, getting up and following the billionaire in the living room.

“Yes, love?”

Oh, for the Norns’ sake. 

“Since I live here?”

“I thought we had already discussed this.”

“No. No, we didn’t.”

“You asked me for a place to stay, I told you to stay here. I guess it was implicit.”

Loki stared at him from across the room; in retrospect he should’ve understood what Tony meant with that, but he was probably too shocked by Tony’s acceptance to actually think it through.

“Okay,” Tony abandoned his position behind the bar, “Will you move in? Here. With me. In this Tower. On this floor. Sharing these rooms with me.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“Was that a yes?”

Loki would’t have given him the satisfaction of verbally agreeing, so he nodded. Or maybe he couldn’t find the voice in his throat to answer, but he wouldn’t have admitted that.

“Good. Now come have lunch.”

What Loki couldn’t believe was Tony’s ability at putting an end to his ever present tantrums with just a few words. He wasn’t used to listening to other people, but with Tony it was different; he had a peculiar talent at calming him down no one had shown in centuries.

Loki sat on a stool at the kitchen island, waiting for Tony to bring him something to eat.

“Did you calm down a little?” He asked in between bites.

“I’m perfectly calm.”

“This baby is making you lie worse by the minute.”

Loki rolled his eyes. Had Tony actually kept him there for seven months, those would’ve been the longest months of his age-hold life.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? Stop looking at me like that, I’m curious.”

Loki was actually quirking an eyebrow at him. He had been so stressed by the news of that child and of how to communicate it to Tony that he had come to think about it not in a very pleasant way; he would’ve never got rid of it, as he had told Tony, but he still didn’t have very positive feelings toward it, and hearing Tony actually caring… it was strange.

“I… I still don’t know.”

“It’s too early or simply you didn’t check?”

“I… no, I didn’t.”

That definitely answered Tony’s first question.

“It’s probably too soon, though,” he patted his arm trying to reassure him.

Loki attempted a smile, but he didn’t look convincing. All the time spent worrying for Tony’s possible reaction, anticipating his rejection, feeling so helpless with no possible escape, that would’ve been hard to forget. He didn’t directly blame their child, but he still couldn’t share Tony’s enthusiasm.

“We’ll get through this, I promise,” he passed an arm around Loki’s shoulders and kissed his temple.

Usually Loki would’ve run as fast as he could from that person who managed to understand so well what was going through his mind, this time he leaned against him and rested his head against Tony’s shoulder.

What the hell was happening to him?


	2. Chapter 2

“Where are you going?”

“I’m tired, I’ll sleep a bit.”

“I know the pregnancy can mess with the moth-… with your head, but the bedroom is the other way,” he pointed to the right.

“Mmh? Yes, I know.”

“Then why are you heading in the wrong direction?”

“I’m not heading in the wrong direction.”

Tony took his face in his hands, “Then where on earth are you going?”

“To the bedroom.”

“For fuck’s sake, Loki.”

“What?”

Those would’ve been seven long months.

“Again: on the right.”

“Oh, that bedroom.”

“To which bedroom were you thinking?”

“The one at the end of the corridor.”

“The guest room?”

“Whatever you call it, but yes.”

“Okay, I probably have to be more precise,” Tony started speaking slowly, as he was addressing an idiot, “Why the guest room?”

“There’s a bed?” Loki answered in the same annoying tone.

Tony was about to start banging his head against a wall, instead he settled for grabbing Loki by the arm and drag him into the bedroom on the right side of the corridor, “What’s wrong with this one?”

“That’s your bed.”

“So?”

“I don’t sleep in your bed.”

Tony stared at him, “Have you lost your mind?”

“Why?”

“You’ve been sleeping in my bed for eight months and you carry my child!” He exclaimed, running a hand through his hair.

“Yes, but with you,” he pointed out as if Tony had just become stupid.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t sleep in your bed without you,” he explained as if it was something so clear only an idiot could fail to understand it.

Tony started laughing, “I can’t believe it.”

“I’m just polite.”

“You threw me out of a window, you’re not polite.”

“Maybe you deserved it.”

Tony could’ve let that conversation drag on for hours, but he decided he had had enough and closed Loki’s mouth with his own, “You can sleep in this bed even if I’m not here, this is your house too now. Do you want me to stay, though?”

“I’m not five.”

“That’s a yes,” he pulled the covers to the side and invited Loki to join him, and since he wasn’t responding Tony hauled him by his side, “Didn’t you want to sleep?”

“You don’t have to stay with me the whole day.”

“No, not this again.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. Lokes, come here and put an end to this once and for all,” Tony kissed him slowly, drawing him close so that Loki couldn’t protest anymore.

An unreadable expression flittered across Loki’s features as he leaned into the kiss.

“Give yourself the option of actually believing me.”

“I can try,” Loki finally said after a while, the pressure of Tony’s lips managing to convince him to give in.

“I’ll prove you I’m right.”

After worrying his mind some minutes more, Loki nodded off against Tony’s shoulder, just to wake up an hour and a half later, his back still pressed against Tony’s chest.

It took him a couple of seconds to realise his right hand had crept to his stomach.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, hi. Sorry,” he quickly removed the hand, afraid he would have conjured some sort of strange reaction.

“You weren’t bothering me, actually.”

Tony smiled behind his documents and repositioned his hand as Loki relaxed in his touch.

“There’s something I want to ask you.”

Loki turned around, his eyes opening with the same suddenness of a snake’s.

“There’s a reason you asked me now?”

“What?”

“You stayed with me only because you wanted to ask me something?”

“What? No, I remained because I wanted to stay with you. With both of you.”

He suppressed a smile, “What’s this about then?”

“I’d like you to see a doctor.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Yeah, I know that, but someone should check on the baby.”

“I can do it, my magic is more than sufficient.”

“I trust you, but I’d like to have someone else taking a look.”

Loki would have got up hadn’t he been still so sleepy, “I can do it on my own.”

“What’s wrong?”

Loki was taken aback by how much Tony understood him. Old habits are hard to break, though, so he lied, “Nothing.”

“Lokes.”

“Nothing, really.”

Tony gently grabbed his chin and forced him to turn around to look him in the eyes.

“Okay, it’s… this isn’t normal, this isn’t reasonable, okay? I know that, I do, I’m not stupid, but I don’t want someone else telling me,” his voice died in his throat with the end of the sentence. He still remembered how Odin had reacted when he had returned to the palace with Sleipnir on toes, and he wasn’t eager to experience that again. 

And this time it wasn’t even due to the fact that he had had he worst idea possible and shape-shifted in something of another gender, but to the fact that he was a jotun and jotuns hadn’t actually had a step in their evolution during which it had been decided who would’ve bore their offspring, and that was even worse.

He was already too different, too weak for the Asgardians, ha couldn’t think to add that pregnancy to that.

He wouldn’t have exposed his unborn child to the same person who had decided Vali and Narfi’s fate, too.

Tony resorted to the only resource he knew it worked in those moments; he kissed Loki to silence him, not actually to stop hearing him complaining of his past, but to make him stop worrying his mind for just a few seconds.

“I’m not asking you to go to Asgard and ask one of your wizards to check on our child, but to let me find a doctor who can take a look on you. Someone who doesn’t even know what jotuns are.”

As always lately, Tony was reading his mind.

“It’s still strange,” he muttered snuggling against Tony’s chest.

“That doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad.”

That child would’ve been the dead of Loki. He started crying again, Tony’s lips pressed to his hair to sooth him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not leaving you like this, I promise. Part 3 is already a file in my pc, I only have to complete it


End file.
